My husband and I are in a unique place in our walk with Papa God right now. I am sure those who have been married far longer than we have will understand our unique situation and what it is currently teaching me. Even those who are dating, or single, will hopefully be able to relate in some form or another to our situation.
There have been many times in my walk with Papa where He has asked me to wait and trust. To sit back, do nothing, and watch what He will do on my behalf. In the past I have been in situations with my best friend (who has an amazing blog you should check out here) where we were on different paths but both of us were being asked by Papa to sit back and wait. More than once have I been on almost the exact same path as my best friend, even though our lives were very different. It could have been something as simple as hearing the same word of knowledge, having different people at church say the same thing to us at different times, or even just a similar situation we encountered in our day to day routine.
What Jordan and I are experiencing now is similar, but very different. At least, it feels different to me - perhaps a little more daunting - since it affects both of us directly. Areas of our spiritual, personal, and marital life are growing by leaps and bounds and there is so much right now for us to be thankful for. But that doesn't always mean more growth isn't needed.
Growth is always needed. It's a necessity to our spiritual walk and unfortunately it isn't always comfortable because growth means change, and if I have learned anything from my walk with Papa it is that change will always come with a side helping of discomfort. Discomfort I can live with. It's something I have learned to navigate my whole life.
But what do you do when the discomfort you are being placed into, the change that is being put upon your shoulders, directly affects your spouse? Plenty of times in my relationship with my best friend there have been moments of discomfort in my life, but they haven't affected her - or any of my other friends - as directly as how this affects my husband. I think a big part is because of the soul tie I have to my husband, but also our lives are so deeply intertwined that what affects him affects me and so forth.
What we are stepping into right now, this temporary discomfort in our lives, is very much a spiritual awakening of sorts. It feels as if Papa is asking Jordan and I to step out past that ledge of safety we humans like to encircle ourselves with, link hands to become one, and take the plunge of trust off the edge. I can feel the wind in my hair as we fall, the gasp in my throat as my stomach plunges past my feet, waiting to feel Papa's strong arms as he catches us. I know His arms are there, ready to welcome us into his embrace and I know He will never drop us. I have been in this place plenty of times before - no way out except to trust - but this feels heavier because it also involves Jordan. It is far easier to be brave and trust when it's just you the discomfort and change affects. Now I have others to take into consideration.
Please don't get this post wrong. Everything is going very well for us right now. There is just this small area we are being called to trust Papa on, and the way we are being called to trust Him is what is uncomfortable. An answer to prayer - yes - but as an answer to prayer often is, it is putting us outside of our comfort zone. FAR outside of our comfort zone. Regardless, both Jordan and I are exceedingly excited to see what Papa does with this discomfort. We have hope for what will come out of this new path we are on right now.
And I think that is worth every moment of discomfort.
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