It snowed this week. I mean, actually snowed. As I was walking around with the littles that I nanny, I was suddenly hit with memories from the last time it snowed before Christmas.
It was back in 2009 I believe, and we had a rather large snow storm come through. Snow hit about a week before Christmas and then again shortly after the new year. I remember this being so pivotal because this was the last Christmas we had with my Mom, even though we didn't know it would be at the time.
I remember that winter sticking out starkly in my mind because of the two large snow storms that we had within weeks of each other. To me, it was bliss. Snow brings me so much joy and excitement, it makes me cry. I believe I inherited that form my mother because, boy, did my mother love the snow! Having grown up in California, I think snow was always a bit of a surprise to her. Her face would light up when it snowed and since she was an elementary school teacher, snow days meant fresh baked oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. I seem to always crave those when it snows.
Looking back on that winter, I can see that the two snows were not a coincidence. God knew how hard 2010 was going to be for our family and how much was going to change in such a little amount of time. I believe God wanted to show my mother and I how dear we were to Him in an effort to demonstrate to us how loved we were by Him in the months that would follow.
2010 would prove to be one of the most difficult - yet formative - years of my life. My Mother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in mid January of 2010 and went to be with the Lord at the end of May of the same year . The rest of that year was filled with the most agonizing firsts that anyone could ever go through - all at the ripe, young age of 25. Many things changed in an instant. Many familiar things were suddenly alien to me. It was by far the darkest time in my life and it took about 5 years before I felt functional again. 5 years before I felt that darkness lift.
Even in the midst of the darkness, there was light. Both my nephews were born in that 5 year span. My father met my now step-mother. I moved out to Seattle and moved back two years later. I found a church that would give me my best friend in return and start me down a path of healing. It was that healing that would set me up for the incredible spiritual growth that would happen over the next 5 years - the 5 years that would bring me to the place I am at today. 10 years of traveling, hurting, healing, learning, listening, searching, and growing. So. Much. Growing.
I have learned in my walk with God that there are no coincidences, but that everything happens for a reason. Back in 2009, it was about a week before Christmas. This weeks snow also came about a week before Christmas. Perhaps this weeks snow was to remind me that I am never far from God's thoughts. Perhaps it was to give me joy at the end of a year that has been filled with so much hardship. Perhaps it was to remind me of the connection I still have to my mother. I may never know, but I am thankful for the snow this week. I am thankful because it brought back a special memory of my mother and reminded me of the love for snow that we shared together.
It reminded me that I will never, truly, be separated from my mother.
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